![]() For the children, telling the parents to get lost is one of Play:ground’s greatest attractions. Some parents, especially those new to this hands-off experience, hover on the side of the fence the organizers and the kids have to shoo them away. Kids are supposed to assess what they’re willing to risk on their own. But the whole point is minimal interference. A few playworkers watch out for dropped nails and kids who have hurt themselves. The organizers have made some effort to minimize real endangerment. But there is a way out of this bind, at least for an afternoon. For the contemporary parent, the question becomes: How do you give them that chance at independence and confidence without putting them in danger? How do you expose your kids to risk without, you know, like, actually risking them? It’s a bind. Because if you can’t enjoy risk, how can you enjoy life?įor parents, however, it is a Catch-22: Our desire to see that no harm comes to our kids is causing harm to our kids. The key thing kids learn from risky play is how to judge what’s dangerous and what isn’t and, maybe even more importantly, how to enjoy navigating risk. Research conducted over a decade has consistently shown that unstructured play leads to the development of positive personality traits like confidence, persistence and creativity. It does not prepare you for the world, which is inherently unpredictable and often dangerous. Spending childhood in a constant state of anxiety is not psychologically healthy. Parenting has become an activity you can master, rather than just a part of life, and so we pore over our decisions about our children’s lives like good little students preparing for a particularly lengthy exam-the most important thing is to make sure you don’t get a question wrong. Maybe part of the reason is that their parents are so overwhelmed by anxiety about them. In Ontario, 60 percent of young people reported concerns about their anxiety levels and nearly half have missed school because of them, according to a Children and Youth Mental Health survey published in 2017. Children in North America are living with unprecedented anxiety. And we’ve never been more worried about them. So, all in all, the kids have never been safer. During roughly the same period, according to the same source, reports of physical abuse fell by 30 percent. Department of Justice reported that between 19, the rate of violent crimes against youth declined 77 percent. ![]() National Highway Traffic Safety Administration recently noted that from 1993 to 2013, the number of children struck by cars dropped by two-thirds. According to the FBI, reports of missing children went down 40 percent between 19. This generalized anxiety over our children is, in the light of the facts and when compared against history, totally insane.Ĭhildren in Canada and the United States are growing up in unprecedented safety. He walked four blocks through one of the safest neighbourhoods in one of the safest cities in the world, and he was stopped three times by other parents, who were worried about whether he was OK to be on the street by himself. Recently I let my 11-year-old son walk home from his school in downtown Toronto. Our collective state of worry is out of control, and we all know it. Why kids need risk, fear and excitement in play As ridiculous as this meta-anxiety sounds, it’s not just mine. But where I’m at now is this: I worry that, by worrying, I might really be doing something worrying to my kids. Worry is the fundamental condition of parenthood-I cannot imagine being a parent and not worrying.
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